Thursday, August 2, 2012

I have come to the conclusion.... that life isn't always what you dreamed it would be!! well duh, like i expected it to be easy... yeah we all wished that. And of course let me fill you in on the details of yesterdays  course of events that led me up to this epiphany...  Ok So just a little background on myself for those who don't know me very well i have a few issues controlling my emotions (just a little). (As my mom would say its going to take a whole lot of person to love me as much i needed loved) I tend to love hard maybe a little to hard some times. I'm a very simple person to get along with, I haven't expected to much from people that I have loved or in this case still do love but i believe that there are only 3 things that would make my life perfect and happy.  I'll go to the ends of the earth for you... if you can give me these three little things
          1) kiss me good morning
          2)tell me you love me (very important)
           and last but not least
          3) kiss me good night,
simple right?? well that's exactly what I thought (boy was i soooo wrong).  So as I am explaining this to my husband last night trying so hard to get him to listen to me,  you would think he would have understood what I was trying to tell him, what I needed him to do for me.. but by the time the plate left my hand he still wasn't getting what i was saying, as i watched the plate slowly gliding through the air, perfectly aimed at his head!!  He still wasn't getting it!! (He's so lucky i throw like a girl because in my mind i saw it shattering right up side his head ahhh all better right?!.. when in reality it barely made it across the table! (darn it i knew i should of played softball when i was younger was the only thought going through my head). Seriously though is that too much to ask from someone you've spent 10 years working to make a good life with, really i never thought we'd end up at this point (you know the flying plates) i mean really had we fallen that far apart that i actually used my good china as a way him to make him understand all the things i needed to make me feel secure and whole again in our relationship?? i mean come on, i know i sound like a lunatic to you but at what point do you get so tied up in your needs that you have to throw something at his head... well I'll tell you the exact point where i crossed that line... when he just looked at me and said "GOD WOULD YOU JUST STOP IT ALREADY!!! i don't feel good and you're annoying me". Apparently that is my breaking point...... now i know you guys are probably going to have a difference of opinion on me being a complete lunatic or maybe... why didn't i pick up a second plate to nail him in the head right where i intended the first plate to land? Trust me i agree with both sides on that one, i am a little crazy when i let my emotions get the best of me.  Do i wish that there was another plate at arms length right there to take a second shot, you better believe it.  So my question to you is what would you have done??  Am I asking to much??  I mean it's not like it's going to set him back a few hundred grand it's a few sweet gestures that when you're in love with someone they should just come naturally (well they do for me anyway).  Am I just being stupid for expecting him to do the little things in life that i think anybody would do for someone they're with??  That is my dilemma now...  Now don't miss understand my purpose of telling you this crazy little story.  i love my husband but sometimes you have to get a little angry for the greater well being of your relationship. No i don't condone my actions today and i have apologized for the incident i was taught never to result to violence, but i did, and i am truly sorry to my (sometimes dense but mostly wonderful) husband tom!! i will always be there for him no matter what he does he is truly my anchor in this crazy world. And that is just the beginning!! have a great day enjoy life it'll be over before you know it!!